1. Burying your best friend and her baby will undoubtedly be the hardest thing you'll ever go through. In fact, having 3 people you know under 30 and a baby die in the same year flat out sucks. However, remembering that everything happens for a reason helps. Look for the reasons, they come to you when you least expect it.
2. Taking a full load of college classes while having a small child doesn't seem hard while you're in the midst of the chaos. Looking back after those few months are over, you'll call yourself a circus clown and feel as if you could man-handle the entire world like a Harlem Globetrotter...and with the same finesse.
3. Getting a divorce comes close to the excruciation of number 1. Not because you're no longer married to the person that you've been with for the past 12 years. But because it's change- it's uncharted territory. It's the fear of the unknown. No, situations that provoked the divorce (Which I might add, I never believed in until it happened) are enough to make you run and never look back. However, there are many lessons learned and lights seen in the midst of this agony.
- When a woman who's gone through it tells you "No divorced woman ever regrets her decision", you think DAMN! That's harsh. It's not. It's truth. Not at first, but time heals all things...give it time.
- At first, you will cry. A lot. These tears only make you stronger. Don't let your child see this. Also, while not in the presence of your child- being a sarcastic bitch helps (remember this part for later).
- There will be other women come into your child's life...the thought of another woman playing house with your kid will initiate a motherly response that will make you want to go 17 rounds with Muhammed Ali...and you will win every. single. round. You will sign up for a boxing class as part of your academic roster for the next semester because of this.You will not necessarily DO or SAY anything. Your child just knows. And this initiates a response in your child that makes them tell the new lady "OK lady, time for you to go. Before my mom gets here and gets mad. And you DON'T WANT THAT!" (It's ok to smile at your child's wit...that they got....from you!)
- Not acting like a victim helps many situations. You are not a victim. You made this choice, based on research, prayer and many, many hours of thought and circumstance.
- Being "a single mom" does NOT make you white trash...your choices and the way you handle life do. Period.
- Believe it or not- it IS still possible to remain friends with your ex. This does not come without irritation, debate, and weird looks from your family. However, it's better for the child and is possible...it's all in the attitude you choose to have.
5. Terrible Two's and Threatening Three's are called this because EFFING AWFUL doesn't start with T! There will be times you will actually tell your child that you are about to sell them to the gypsies, or that they are about to get packed in a box and shipped to Gigi's house FOR-EVER (picture Squints and The Sandlot...same idea). They will be excited about this! They may even ask you if you're at that point while in Dillons...insert rude, inappropriate looks from strangers here. It's at this point where you will need a friend to rely on. It's ok. Every mother needs a break!
6. It's completely and utterly impossible to take 15 hours of classes, work and raise a child without your parent's help. Seriously, they are your life line. Thank them daily and be super grateful you have this life line available.
7. You never know how strong you are until you have to be. Simple as that. Great adversity is overcome by having an education and a positive attitude. Use them to your advantage and have confidence in knowing you're living with integrity. Some days, it's the only thing that gets you through the next 5 minutes.
8. DO NOT. I repeat. DO NOT sign up for an online dating service...FML will run through your head more times while reading the stupidity of the male population than should even be allowed. Seriously. Did you know that there are men out there...wait. Did you know that EVERY, SINGLE, MAN from the ages 48-72 (yes. You read that right) will email you though you're only 28!?! And they will say something like this "Hey girl. What's your favorite romantic movie? Do you like long walks on the beach?" Really? You are NOT Ryan Gosling so the words "Hey Girl" should not even be thought by you until you are. AND, you're from KS...yes! I LOVE walks on the beach...at Milford Lake...WHAT?!?! (picture a Minion from Despicable Me) Seriously dude. I don't care if you're as rich as Donald Trump. You're making me vomit.
9. Men will crawl out of the woodwork and want in your pants. Men you've been friends with for a long time. Men you've never even thought would look at you "in that way". They do, and they have the persistance of your two year old trying to get your attention. (mom, mom, mom, mommy, mama, mom, mom,mom, mommy....) It will trigger the same reaction too! Remember that little tidbit of information about being sarcastic...You're gonna need to perfect this. Because again, some of these men will make you want to vomit. There is no finesse in the dating world anymore. Sex is a first date conversation starter. And, having less than 5 partners is virtually unrealistic. Basically what I'm saying is- Morals and Values are hard to come by...look hard my friends...they're out there...I'll let you know when I find them. It may be as difficult as that cure for cancer so you're going to need to be patient on this one.
10. Stop eating so damn much! You're not hungry. You're bored or probably thirsty. Learn the difference! It's real easy to put weight on...but losing 30 pounds, though seriously life changing is hard as hell and you'll cuss yourself every step of the way. It's just easier to make better decisions now than later!
11.Reflect on the year that's gone by. You'll learn so much about life, love, what makes you happy and most of all- yourself. Make goals and stick to them. Make friends and make the friendships you have stronger. Rid yourself of the negativity in your life. You don't need it. And above all...
12. The best quote one will ever live by is this "Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not stress. Just breathe and Have Faith that everything will work out for the best"...because it will. :) Happy New Year to all...May 2013 bring you lots of love, happiness, health and wealth!
